In episode 268, Coffey talks with Jeff Lay about what it means to build a conflict-capable organization, why artificial harmony is more dangerous than open disagreement, and how leaders can develop the skills and culture needed to handle difficult conversations before they become expensive problems.

–  HRSOUTHWEST  October 11-13, 2026 –

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They discuss the concept of a conflict-capable organization as an alternative to the unrealistic goal of conflict elimination; the conflict incubator — how childhood environments and previous workplaces shape an individual’s default conflict behaviors; artificial harmony versus genuine trust, and why silence in a meeting rarely signals agreement; the financial cost of unresolved conflict, including disengagement losses that don’t show up on a P&L but function like money thrown in a fire; becoming fluent in the language of small things — addressing friction early before emotions escalate into “you always” and “you never” conversations; how a leader’s response to the first person who raises conflict determines whether anyone ever raises it again; the challenge of coaching up when the conflict source is the leader themselves, and how HR can build the relational runway to do it; social media, generational change, remote work, and AI as compounding forces making productive conflict harder to navigate; emotional intelligence, humility, and curiosity as foundational leadership skills for conflict resolution; and the CURVE framework — cared for, understood, respected, valued, and empowered — as a diagnostic for organizational health.

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About Jeff Lay

Jeff Lay is the Founder of The People Curve, a leadership and conflict resolution consulting practice focused on helping leaders and organizations navigate difficult conversations, strengthen workplace relationships, and build healthier cultures. 

With more than 25 years of leadership experience spanning nonprofit, ministry, and organizational leadership, Jeff has coached leaders through employee relations challenges, team conflict, organizational change, and workplace investigations. 

Jeff believes conflict is not something to avoid but a skill to develop. His work centers on helping organizations become conflict-capable—creating cultures where difficult conversations can be addressed with clarity, respect, and accountability. 

Jeff is a SHRM-SCP and frequent speaker for leadership teams, HR professionals, churches, and nonprofit organizations. He lives in East Texas with his wife and family and enjoys camping, reading, and cheering on the Dallas Cowboys Texas A&M football. 

Contact Jeff Lay

www.thepeoplecurve.com  

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-lay-shrm-scp-09987a10